I was raised in a Sikh family and growing up I was guided by values to help me into becoming a more complete Spiritual Adult.
These values consisted of five positive traits to strive for and five major weaknesses of the human personality to watch out for.
The five major weaknesses of the human personality, often referred to as “thieves” because they steal a person’s wisdom and spiritual essence, are:
Ego / Lust / Anger / Greed / Attachment
To counteract the five thieves, one should strive to cultivate five virtues:
Love / Truth / Compassion / Contentment / Humility
This Blog is about relationships and expectations one has by being in one.
By now, all of us have likely been in a relationship. Some in lifelong ones, others in short-term ones, for various reasons.
I, myself, had been in a relationship (marriage) for 15 years, even though it didn’t follow traditional norms. It was still a relationship.
As the title of this blog suggests, you don’t own anybody, It is just your turn. Throughout life, we may or may not have come across relationships that last for a certain period.
In this blog, I will talk about my personal relationships and those I foresee in the future. Obviously, no one begins a relationship thinking about when it will end. But in my experience, I’ve been in relationships that I felt were meant only for that phase of my life, and I have learned a lot from each one of them.
One was a marriage, where I learned how to be a husband, a provider, and a father. I’ve also been in relationships where I played different roles; a boyfriend, a companion, and a lover. The point I’m making is that these relationships were temporary, but they were essential for my growth as a human being.
Where are these people now? They are living their own lives. Some are still single, some are married, and some have children with their new partners. And here I am, wondering what does fate have in store for me?
As I ponder this topic, I question certain beliefs instilled in us by society. For example:
- Is partnership/marriage a spiritual necessity, or is it designed to contain us within certain boundaries?
- Do relationships limit personal growth, or do they enhance it?
- Are we truly a monogamous species?
Some species, like swans, mate for life, but we, as humans, often don’t. Many of us have been in relationships we believed would last forever, only to see them end, sometimes by the death of the other significant person. We enter new relationships, believing once again that they will last, but do we actually have control over what our partner does, thinks, or desires?
Can control and love coexist? If we truly love someone, should we have the desire to control them? Or should love mean letting them flourish and be themselves, even if their journey may eventually steer away in a different direction. If, at one moment, our paths align, can we later accept when they no longer do? And if that happens, can we love them enough to let them go?
I began this blog by mentioning the five thieves and five virtues that guide us toward becoming complete spiritual beings. If we submit to ego, lust, anger, greed, and obsessive attachment, can we truly expect meaningful relationships with others? On the other hand, if we embrace love, truthfulness, compassion, contentment, and humility, can we nurture healthier connections?
Revisiting an earlier thought, are relationships designed by society to control us, or are they necessary for a fulfilling life? Can we truly flourish and be our complete selves within a relationship?
I believe that, in the end, we are alone in this world. Even with family relationships there are complexities. A mother may love her child unconditionally, but can that love harm her if she falls prey to attachment?
Can a person who has no children, siblings, or parents still live a content and happy life? Conversely, can a person surrounded by family, kids, and a partner truly find happiness if they are not content within themselves?
I have been single for seven years now. I am somewhat content, but like anyone else, I sometimes long for companionship. Friends and family have their own lives and are not always there for you. A partner, however, is someone who prioritizes you and strives to be there.
I would love to hear your thoughts, whether you’ve never been in a relationship, have been in a lifelong one, or have experienced multiple relationships and found someone with whom you are truly content. Or perhaps you are like me, still searching.
Farewell and God Speed
Omega7nine
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